College: A Match to be Made
“Toga! Toga! Toga!” Yep, don’t lie. All of you high school seniors out there have one thing on your mind when it comes to finding the right college. So, here are a few friendly suggestions on how to make the perfect selection in higher education. After all, this decision will not only become the first milestone of your career path, but it will also shape your very delicate social reputation and agenda. Good luck, and take notes!
In beginning the college search, it is ever so important to note that this process should never involve proactive efforts from the student. Let the colleges find you and initiate any interactions. At some point in time, pieces of a costly college recruitment campaign will find their way into your mailbox, or you’ll receive a list of schools from your guidance counselor. In fact, you just may overhear your friends discussing schools. Regardless, all scenarios are realistic and just dandy for you to discover the names of educational institutions that will possibly match your needs. After receiving brochures or fliers, go ahead and read the bold titles while skimming the smaller text. Just be sure to look out for important phrases and terms such as “co-ed dorms,” “male-to-female ratio,” “active social scene,” “graduates listed in Forbes 500,” “off-campus student-sponsored activity does not represent the attitudes of _______ University,” etc. Remember, this is about suiting your personality and needs, so be honest when defining your expectations.
The next step of course involves the Internet. You may assume that I am about to direct you to the school’s website. Oh no, my dear amateur. Hop onto YouTube and see what you find. “Weekend at _______ University,” “Dorm life: _______ University,” “Secrets of _______ University” are all fine search queries to get you started. You may even have luck with just the name of the school. This step is crucial in that it will undoubtedly reveal exactly what students do when not in class, as well as how they define “campus life,” “free time,” and “independent research opportunities,” etc.
Once you feel you have gathered enough solid information, take a peek at the school’s page on Wikipedia. This is where you will conduct the logistical part of your search. You need cold hard facts. Where is this institution located? How far is it from the beach? Is it far enough from dear old mom and dad to avoid any surprise visits? Where is the nearest drug store? (You can never know when you’ll need to stock up.) What are the popular night clubs in the area? Is it near a lively city? You get the idea.
Now, it is time to get the basics. Check out college ranking websites such as “theU.com.” These tools are treasure troves of pertinent information gathered and distributed by students just like you. You can get accurate assessments of the school’s dorm life, social scene, food, and academic reputation. When it comes to on-campus housing, there had better be co-ed floors with suite style rooms (Do you really want to share a toilet with at least thirty people?). Then again, you might know you look good strutting down the hallway in your bath towel. As for food, DO NOT COMPROMISE. Full course meals, salad bars, all-you-can-eat pizza, make-your-own sundae, burgers cooked to order, prime meats, fresh seafood, and pasta coming out of your eyeballs. Chinese food, every brand of cereal, special order breakfasts, personalized fruit smoothies, triple chocolate cake among dozens of other desserts-don’t ever think you deserve less. Freshman fifteen watch out; here comes the class of 2013!
If the school fits the bill so far, venture to the official website. Find out the class size. This will let you know what degree of effort will be expected on a daily basis. Rule of thumb: classes should be large enough for no one to notice you’re missing or asleep. Hey, you’ve got busy weekends—and the desks can be so comfortable when you’re tired. Now, take heed; if there is only one lesson you take from this fine thesis on personal college selection, let it be this: under no circumstance, NO circumstance, should the professor ever know you by name. You are merely a body, a body that fills a seat, a seat that must be filled. Despite what many a guidance counselor may say, small classes demand an extraordinary effort on your part that may require actual participation, engagement, and attention; all of these threaten priorities that pertain to your extracurricular agenda.
At this point, you probably assume you must take a look at the list of offered majors. However, this would simply be a waste of time—you won’t declare your major at least until your sophomore year—so just relax. No. No, now is the time for the final piece of the puzzle. This last step will determine the likelihood of your applying and actual attendance. So, campus visit? Oh please. Try this; pick a number between five and fifteen. Go to the “gallery” or “archives” link on the school website. Remember the number? You must now find at least that number of people in the school photos that you find extremely attractive. Keep in mind, the most influential part of your college experience is arguably the people you come in contact with. What better way to guarantee great relationships and friendships than by surrounding yourself with people you consider to be hot? So, did you find them? If you did, then congratulations! Chances are this particular institution is one of beautiful people. I think you’ve found a match!
Don’t forget, this process is supposed to be exciting and inspirational. You’re coming into your own, becoming a young adult. This decision will affect the rest of your personal and professional life. Finding the right college is about being well-informed not only of your own expectations, but also of what these excellent institutions have to offer. May you have the best of luck… Oh, and for the sake of those around you, please wear something under that toga.
